College Is...

Well, I am here.

Wait, WHAT?!

I feel so weird saying that. The place that I have been preparing for for the past 9 months is now the place that I live during the week. The reality has settled in and I can't say I like it one bit.

There is no way to really prepare yourself for leaving for school. There is no way to become okay with the fact that you will be living 2 and a half hours away from the people you love most. There is no way to make another place feel like home. There is no way to say goodbye to your family without feeling like everything was normal (trust me, I tried). 

Even still, I am getting through it. I am trying to stay distracted and keep my mind off the fact that I could get in my car right now and drive home. I am setting up my room-slowly but surely-and making it feel as warm and homey as possible. I am texting my mom constantly. I am hanging pictures of all of my friends and family under my loft and pretending like all of them are actually surrounding me. 

So maybe I sound crazy, but it's the only way to stay sane at this point.

Even with all the difficulties of the BIGGEST change of my LIFE, Jesus has blessed me beyond belief with some amazing girls in my dorm.

My RA has made me feel so accepted and loved. She has made me feel secure and has made this transition that much easier. There are upperclassmen girls who I am friends with down here who have made me feel like life is normal and given me the chance to act like my normal sarcastic, ridiculous self. I have been able to cling to some of my Blue Springs friends down here whose familiar faces have made me feel sweet relief.

So although I will never be okay with not being with my family. Never feel right with not hanging out with my mom who is my rock. Never quite complete without cuddling with Koda bear. I will get through this. 

Change isn't easy. Change isn't simple. To put it simply-change SUCKS.

But I will get through it.