//do not be conformed
to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed
by the renewal of your mind,
that by testing you may discern
what is the will of God,
what is good
and acceptable
and perfect//
romans 12:2 esv
this verse is not a new one to me.
in fact, it is one i have memorized.
yet today, it has struck me right in the core.
i live in a world that is nonstop.
ravaged by social media
which is ravaged by negativity.
and rather than living in a way that keeps myself above and apart from the negativity of social media,
i swallow myself up in it.
today i was listening to a sermon online
of a service at a local church and the pastor talked about how fasting disconnects us from the world.
now.
fasting to me has always been in reference to food.
but today,
i felt like the Lord was saying "listen up, this is for you."
and it confused me for a split second.
but then it didn't.
i have held on to social media for years.
i have resisted my family when they call me out for my addiction to it and dependence on it.
"i don't have a problem"
"i am not addicted"
"i don't need these accounts"
yet i do have a problem.
i am addicted.
i have convinced myself that i need my social media accounts.
and that is something i am so hesitant to admit.
by admitting that i am dependent on something--anything--other than Christ, i am admitting that i am not living in the full life Christ is offering me.
so, why am i dependent on social media?
why do i feel literal anxiety when i am not on instagram for a whole day?
because i am terrified of missing out.
social media lets me know what everyone is up to,
where they're at,
who they're with.
and i have myself convinced i need to know this information.
but it's a lie from the pits of hell.
and it's time for me to resist against it.
so i am taking a break.
i am going on a social media strike for 3 months.
i want to show myself that i only need to rely on one thing.
Christ.
and i want to show myself that the anxiety, insecurities, and critical spirit that are within me solely stem from being completely submerged in social media 24/7.
it's time to renew my mind.
it's time to break out of the mold i have let myself settle in.
