place of retreat.

about eleven months ago i attended a weekend retreat that changed my life.

i piled together with about 32 people into a house at table rock lake in branson.

tomorrow, i leave for that same retreat.

this time it's at lake of the ozarks.

this time we're adding ten more people.

i could not be more excited.

this semester has been one unlike any before.

not shocking.
not bad.
not great.

the funny thing that college is continuing to teach me is to not get too comfortable where i am at.

it's amazing how many detours
                      roadblocks
                      u-turns
                      come up each week.

this semester 
God is stretching me.
He is growing me.
He is breaking me.

much like semesters before, my eyes are being open to new ideas, thoughts, and truths that lie within Christ.

i am learning to not become complacent.
i am learning to listen with a burning heart.
i am learning to take time to listen.

i have met my fair share of challenges this semester.
i have made my fair share of mistakes.

i have cried hard.
       laughed hard.
       yelled hard.

i have been confused.
       been hurt.
       been loved.

i have seen people be so patient with me when they had no reason 
to be.
i have seen people be so loving towards me when they had no reason to be.
i have seen people be so understanding of me when they had no reason to be.

i have seen God's grace overflow.
i have heard God's voice speak truth.
i have felt God's love all around.

so tomorrow
as i load up my car
and i head with friends to the lake

i pray that the things that i and the others have experienced and gone through this semester would lead to honest conversations and the pouring out of where we are all at in our walks.

i pray for transparency.
that we would not hide true feelings/thoughts/emotions.
i pray for grace.
that we would meet others where they're at.
i pray for gentleness.
that we would treat one another with sweet compassion.
i pray for boldness.
that we would not hold back.

would you pray with me?

pray for the hearts of those who will be in attendance.
pray for the voices that need to be heard.

pray for dave as he prepares to share God's truth and word.
pray for laurel, kelly, and andy who have given up a weekend away from their children to pour into the lives of college students.

pray that Christ would be so obviously present.
pray that the Spirit would cover us as soon as the weekend begins.
pray that God would pound truth into our minds and hearts.

pray that what happens this weekend would change the course of each and every person who attends.
pray that what happens this weekend would carry on into the days/weeks/months/years to come.
pray that what happens this weekend would leave the enemy shaking in his boots.

we have a purpose.
we have a calling.

let's do this.

from the well.

com·mu·ni·ty
kəˈmyo͞onədē/
noun
1. a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common.
2. a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.

there is so much power in community.

that may be one of the best lessons i have learned since starting college.

in high school my home church in kansas city went through a period of not having leadership in the youth group. 
we went through a time where adults really weren't present in the lives of the young students.
thankfully, the summer before my senior year, God brought a youth pastor and his then fiancé into the picture and started to build up what was lacking for so long.

because of the period where leaders were lacking, i wasn't able to see what community looked like in a group of students my own age.
i was blind to the importance that comes with living life with one another and working together with the same goal in mind.

then i came to college.

i went many weeks without being plugged in to a ministry in bolivar due to going home to kansas city every weekend.

then someone invited me to the well.

no. not to go get water.
(this ain't jack and jill.)

freshwater church in bolivar has a college student program every wednesday night called the well led by pastor dave becker. 

it is where i first saw a glimpse into community.

i can't pinpoint when i first went to the well, but once i started something about being there just felt right.

i went through weeks of praying and asking if it was where i was meant to be in order to grow.
the loud YES came one friday night.

one friday night when a group of about 30 students gathered in the home of dave and laurel becker.

one friday night a bonfire was lit in the backyard.

one friday night when the loudest game of catchphrase in the history of the world went down.

one friday night when i realized that this home was filled with students who, because of the hearts of two adults, could come and rest and find true fellowship with one another.

dave and laurel becker.
my word.
those two.

i wish i could properly put into the words all that they, as individuals and as a couple, have done in my life.

they are selfless.
they are obedient.
they are honest.
they are caring.
they are straight up.
they are giving.
they are hilarious.

they show love.
they show humility.
they show grace.
they show patience.
they show Christ.

oh boy do they show Christ.

that one friday night opened my eyes to see all that God is doing in and through them.

and since that friday night i have seen even more accounts of how they are using their lives to do His will.

it is beautiful.

and through that beauty, i have found true community.

whether it be on a sunday morning,
or at the well,
or at spades night,
or over a cup of coffee at the beckers' kitchen table,

i continue to be shown what it means to be in community with your brothers and sisters in Christ.

which reminds me.

spades night.

y'all. spades night changed my life.

every thursday night students gather to drink coffee, watch movies, play spades, eat laurel's legendary cookies, play with the becker kids, get into discussions over whether 1,000 pound duck-sized horses or 1,000 horse-sized ducks would be easier to beat in a fight, eat homemade salsa, and just share life with each other.

i'm not kidding when i say it has changed my life.

it is another way that the becker family has opened up their home and lived out the idea that everything Christ gives us is to be used for the good of the Kingdom.

i don't know that i will ever be able to repay the beckers for what they've done in my life.
i don't know if i will ever be able to say thank you enough times.

but i am so very thankful.

i am thankful for the years as a high school student that i spent without any leadership.
it made me cherish what i now have so much more.

college students: find this.

i'm telling you.
it is so important to have people to lean on.
it is so important to have people to learn from.

community is so much more than its dictionary definition.

it is real.
it is there.
it is so needed.

and once you find it, you'll never want to let it go.

//and let us not neglect

our meeting together, like

some people do, but 

encourage one another,

especially now that the

day of His return 

is drawing near//

hebrews 10:25

still.

hi friends.

it has been quite a while since my last blog post, but i wanted to give myself some time to acclimate back into college life before i shared where i am at. 

which brings me toooooo. . .

dang life is good.

college: year two started off quite interesting but is currently so so good and God is proving His might and grace in such big ways.

seriously.

how do i even start to tell you all how much He has done in my life over the past 6 weeks?

holy moly me oh my.

i have been wrecked and stretched and thrown around and He is piecing me back together bit by bit.

i went through a patch of time where i was so caught up in myself. praise Him, i am finally out of that place.

i finally reached the end of me.

that is a much better place to be than where i was. 
being caught up in myself was too exhausting.

(special shoutout to all of you who put up with me while i was less than pleasant. you're the real MVP)

don't get me wrong, i still have much more to learn and much further to grow, but i am at the start of a path that is leading in the right direction.

about the second week of school i became overwhelmed. i had been so caught up in the hustle and bustle, extreme excitement, and intense chaos of living around people 24/7 that i forgot what stillness was like.

i forgot what it meant to be still in the presence of the Lord.

so i decided to remember.

i was still.

i took myself, my bible, my journal, and a card.

i sat and i read and i wrote to Him and i wrote to my best friend.

and it was perfect.

that's one major thing i have learned in college.

you have to have those moments of shutting your mouth, removing yourself from other people, and being still.

for those of you who know me, you know how extremely difficult it is for me to be still.
like seriously.
it's the struggle.

but it's important.

for those of you in college right now, listen up.

be still.
take time for yourself.
take time for you and God.
take time to sit in silence.
take time to write out your thoughts.
take time to stop, collaborate, and listen...to yourself.
and to Him.

please do that.
for your sake.
and those around you.

it's important.

now.

sometimes this is hard.

sometimes we can't just sit.

so.

take drives.

drives are good things.

but be safe.

because safety is also good.

but drives can be extremely helpful in the process of being quiet.

plus, you can be "still" without being "still"

ya know?

those moments of quiet, resting in the stillness, is when you can see where you truly are.

you can see the most messed up parts of your heart.
you can see where you are at in your struggles.
you can see what's weighing on you.

so often we let the chaos of life take us in and overwhelm all other things.

we use it as a blanket to cover how we truly feel.

we allow it to be our excuse for the things that we do.

we must stop that.

i am as guilty as the next person.

i surround myself with chaos just to keep from having to actually take a look at where i really am.

but i am finished with that.

so don't be like that.

we can do this.

i believe in us.

dear freshman.

at the end of my freshman year of high school i was  assigned to write a letter to an eighth grader that would be a freshman the upcoming fall.
this letter started out with two words. "dear freshman." 

it went on to fill the student in on the ups and downs, ins and outs, outside and inside of being a freshman.

so now, as i reflect on where i was a year ago tonight, i am writing my "dear freshman" letter.

dear freshman,

hello. my name is easton roye and i am going to be embarking on my sophomore year of college in just a few short days. i completed my freshman year a few months ago after months and months of teaching and learning experiences.

365 days ago i was in the exact spot you are currently in. 
it was the night before i left my comfortable home to begin my journey as a college student.

i couldn't sleep.

i was anxious.
i was excited.
i was worried.
i was fearful.
i was ready.

this rush of emotion caused me to lie awake and dwell on the unknown.

don't do that.

please don't do that.

if you are desiring to dwell on something, dwell on Him.

He is the only One worth dwelling on.

dwell on His word.

dwell in Him.

when fear overcomes your heart.

dwell.

when stress eats at you.

dwell.

when your tears overcome the wall you've tried to put up.

dwell.

nothing i tell you can prepare you for this path you are starting on, but i can tell you one thing.

He is the only thing worth clinging to.

He is the only stable thing in your life currently.

your location may have changed, but His hasn't.

He is there.

dear freshman,

you are now starting the biggest whirlwind year of your life.
get ready.

it is fantastic.
it is weird.
it is different than you would imagine.
it is scary.
it is full of lessons.
it is a ridiculous amount of fun.
it is now.

live in it.

i mean really LIVE in it.

for a while i spent so many weeks thinking about what i was missing out on at home that i missed out on what was happening all around me at school.

don't do that.
take it from me.

find a community.
jump in.
be authentic.
put yourself out there.

but guard your heart.

there will be disappointment.
there will be challenges.

but don't let them stop you.

college is fun.

seriously.

a ton of it.

you're sorta kinda an adult now.

which is weird.

so try to figure out what that is like.

good luck with that.

dear freshman,

remember your parents.

remember that they are experiencing a new kind of culture shock as well.

they're letting you go.

a piece of their puzzle is hanging out in another puzzle box for awhile.

it's weird.

it feels strange.

don't forget about them.

call them.
text them.
write them.

(if you don't know what the term "write them" means, it's this thing from the olden days when people actually HAND WROTE letters to other people. crazy, i know. do it.)

as you become more comfortable in your new environment, remember that they're still adjusting as well.

dear freshman,

even as a sophomore you won't have this whole college thing figured out.

i still have no idea what i am doing half of the time.

but i've learned that's sort of just a part of growing up.

it is going to take a little bit to fully become who we are called to be,

that is truly okay.

i mean it.

dear freshman,

you've got this.

you really do.

you can do it.

cling to Him.

because He will be Your strongest defender and sweetest resting place.

let Him become real to you this year.

seek Him out.

it's so much easier when we do.

that's something i have to remind myself of far too often.

so don't forget that.

dear freshman,

go get em.

all my love and encouragement,

easton.

ever changing.

hello there.

it has been awhile.

i am entering into the middle/middlish/endishbutnotreally part of summer break. 

i am currently sitting and listening to waves crash upon the shore and breathing in the salty nighttime air of florida. 

this summer can thus far be summed up into one word: 

adjustment.

adjusting to not being at school.

adjusting to getting used to living in my house again.

adjusting to a new job.

adjusting to dealing with my old one.

adjusting to life.

it's a funny thing, life. 

it seems that you reach an age where consistency is a thing of the past.
a mythical creature that lives only in your childhood and days passed. 

life now is changing.
every year.
every month.
every week.
every day.
every hour.

which rocks.

             sometimes.

and rocks less.
             
             most times.

this is where the problem comes in.
this is where one must embrace adjustment.
and this is where i struggle at doing so.

i am a stubborn one.
ask my mom.
ask my dad.
ask my brothers.
ask my old babysitters.

if you look up stubborn in the webster dictionary you will find, in bold print: EASTON REBEKAH ROYE.

now, please understand, this is not something i say with pride.
it is not something that i enjoy admitting to anyone, let alone myself.
it is something inside of me that seems to have been with me for my whole life.

and it is ugly.

this stubbornness leads to me only hurting myself.
it leads to me not listening when i should have listened.
it leads to me not obeying when i should have obeyed.
it leads to me not yielding when i sure as heck should have yielded.

it leads to a dead end.
every.
single.
time.

you would think that at a younger age i would think
"hey, this whole stubbornness thing isn't quite working out for me"
but nah.
it was more like me at a younger age thinking
"heh i have life figured out and i can do it on my own"

wrong.
so wrong.
so so wrong.

if anything, i am learning that i can in fact not do it on my own.
nor would i like to.

this is where it gets sticky.
you see, i know and recognize that i do not have life figured out.
i know and recognize that doing things on my own rarely works out.
i know and recognize that i have people placed in my life with actual wisdom and guidance who are there to help me.

but.

i resist it.
i want to prove myself.
i want to try things on my own.
i want to go by what i know and think.

i was at church camp a few weeks ago and mr. ted burden said something that went into my ears and sunk down into my soul:
"knowledge is proud that it knows so much,
 wisdom is humbled that it knows so little"

yes.
yes yes yes.
a thousand times yes.

needless to say, i spent the rest of the sermon with my ears perked up and my pen to my paper writing furiously.
and i ended the sermon in a puddle of tears.

it's a funny thing when you know you know the truth, but it takes the right setting, the right moment, and the right person saying it to truly hit you the way you need it to hit you.

and it hit me.

hard.

you see, i realized that i am not humbled when i know little. 
i am frustrated.
i want to know.
i want to be right.

and that is not a characteristic of wisdom.

because i am not wise.

i have little knowledge.
and scarce wisdom.

and, contrary to popular belief, this is alright.

i am not supposed to be full of wisdom.

i am nineteen years old.
i have years to live.
i have many things to go through.
i have much to endure.

and i have stubbornness to get over and break through.

the kind of stubbornness that makes adjustment a wee bit hard to do.
the kind of stubbornness that makes adjustment nearly impossible.

it's hard adjusting to life away from college when you thought you learned so much from nine months away at school.

it's hard adjusting to life away from college when you realize you actually didn't learn as much as you thought you had.

it's hard adjusting to life away from college when you realize that you have only just started learning what life really is.

so for now, i am taking everything step by step.

i am adjusting
           and readjusting
                       and readjusting.

that's what it takes.

it takes me seeing each day and knowing that i don't have all of the answers i am going to need that day.
it takes me seeing each day and knowing that the way i treat people matters and is so important.
it takes me seeing each day and knowing that i am going to make mistakes and that's okay but i also need to take responsibility for those mistakes.

college is hard.
life away from college is almost harder.

but like i said.

this is only the start of my no consistency adult life.

so here we go.

odds and ends. but mostly ends.

about nine months ago i started this journey.

this journey into college.
             into a new chapter.
             into many new lessons.

in two weeks i will wrap up year one.

nothing and nobody could have prepared me for this year.

no book that has been written about transition.
no movie that has been produced about the college years.
no story published in any magazine or newspaper.

these nine months have been full of joy.
                                    hardship.
                                    memories.
                                    loneliness.
                                    laughter.
                                    sadness.
                                    confusion.
                                    lessons.

so so many lessons.

i have learned much about myself.
i have learned much about friendship.
i have learned much about my relationship with Christ.

and i wouldn't change a thing.

second semester has been a roller coaster.

i came in to this semester with two things on my mind:

1.expect this to be different than first semester.
        a lot of people informed/warned me that no 
        two semesters will ever be the same and to 
        expect many things to change.

2.transferring to somewhere in Kansas City is an option and should    
  definitely happen.
        i came back to school after six weeks of home. those six 
        weeks were full of me falling back in love with my city,
        countless coffee shop afternoons, and meeting some 
        absolutely incredible people. leaving that was almost harder
        than leaving home at the beginning of first semester. so 
        yes, i had full belief that i was not going to be hanging
        around SBU for much longer.

ha. it's so funny when i try to plan my own life.

so let's start with #1:

this semester has been a little different not even sort of like first semester.
if first semester was summer, second semester would be winter.
if first semester was black, second semester would be white.
if first semester was sweet, second semester would be sour.

absolute opposites in almost every way.

now, hear me out.
things have been different, yes without a doubt.
but that is a wonderful thing.

i have been met with challenges.
challenge after challenge, really.
but i am thankful.

with each change comes a new lesson.
with each change comes new perspective.
with each change comes growth.

has this semester been different than first?
obviously, yes.
has this semester had new hurdles to overcome?
absolutely.
has this semester been draining at times?
no doubt.

but i remain thankful.

because you see, it's when the change stops when growth stops.
it's when i become comfortable that i realize i'm not doing something right.
it's when i am not being faced with challenges that i realize i am drawing away from God.

and that is a much more frightening place to be.
i have much more growth to endure.
i don't want to be comfortable.
i want to be in God's presence always.

so i rejoice in my trials.
i rejoice in what He is bringing me through.
i rejoice in what He is bring me to.
i rejoice in how He is shaping me.

now let's move on to #2:

my love for kansas city is apparent and obvious and obnoxious and real and strong and i'm not even sorry for it.
i love my city.
this love and passion really clouded my vision in seeing what bolivar, missouri held for me during this part of my life.
i was so caught up in what i was missing out on at home that i couldn't see what i would be missing out on here if i went back to KC for school.

i met so many beautiful people while i was home in December and January and i wanted to continue to nurture those relationships.
i wanted to be invested there and with those people.
i wanted to be doing Kansas City things with Kansas City people.

it wasn't until very recently that i realized i will--and do--have those chances still...even while being an SBU bearcat.

it is possible to nurture relationships in more than one city.

but for now, i am being called to reside in bolivar.
and that is okay.

i still go home many weekends.
some people still question my motives and don't understand.
and, quite frankly, i have stopped listening to everyone else's opinions on the matter.
kansas city is dear to my heart and as long as i have the opportunity to be there during the weekends, that is where i will be.

so the transferring question.

next fall i will come back to SBU.
it will be a new semester.
it will be another crazy journey.
it will be full of more trials.

and i will live in the moment.

right now i know that this is where i am meant to be.
right now i know that this is where God wants me to grow.
so here i will be and here i will grow.



until He calls me somewhere else.


now here is all that i would have missed out on in the last 9 months if i hadn't been here:

dorm life. holla.

welcome week and the paint slip-n-slide where i finally felt peace in not being home.

living with more girls than i have ever even thought about living with. and the night we took over campus.

beasley & plaster-meyer redneck barbecue and meeting some very fantastic brothers and sisters.

foxy friday. all the fridays.

my fox obsession in general.

figuring out why college kids slept so much on the weekends. and finding a true appreciation for naps.

and an even truer appreciation for coffee. all the coffee. 

taking walks through the cemetery. it's weird, i know. but i am who i am. and my dad used to come here to study during his college years, so i have to carry on the tradition.

spades night. and beka todd. and the couch we were sitting on.

the retreat that changed my life and wrecked me in the most beautiful way. and my new respect and admiration for branson.

trips to springfield to sit alone in coffee shops.

and trips to my grandma's house to spend the weekend.

yes, especially the second one.

snow walks alone.

                           

hurts donut company.

all the donuts.

the smell of donuts.

the thought of donuts.

donuts.

and increased admiration for the beauty of city life.

tuesdays at the river with alexa and donuts.

did i mention donuts?...

this girl. one of my truest and greatest friends. and all of her patience and love and loudness. yes. all of that.

                                     

 and last, but probably most important, i would have never met these people. i would not have these memories. these pictures would not exist. so that. that is one of the biggest things i would have missed out on.

but i didn't.

i stayed here.

i am here.

i am growing.

and i, once again, am thankful.