junior year.
and i should be asleep.
(sorry mom)
(but when i gotta write, i gotta write)
so.
hello there.
let's catch up.
y'all. this summer. oh man this summer.
let me summarize it:
WHIRL.WIND.
i've written about some of that chaos already this summer.
but in the last week and a half a thousand things have been spun a million different directions at a billion miles per hour.
you see.
i had a plan.
because, come on.
i was convinced that i was in control of my life.
(for real. easton. come on. why haven't you learned by now?)
but i found out.
in the most heartbreaking of ways.
that i am not.
on saturday, august 15 i lost my grandmother.
and life.
and my plans.
dropped out beneath me.
i had it all planned out.
family birthday party on sunday the 16th.
leave for school the 17th.
spend a week setting up my house,
catching up with my bolivar family,
enjoy a week of freedom.
i would ease into the semester.
but instead.
sunday was spent shopping for funeral clothes.
monday was spent getting on a plane to texas.
tuesday was spent celebrating the marvelous life of one of the greatest women i know.
wednesday was spent on a plane back to kc and then cram-packing.
but listen to me.
that's ok.
was it ok in the moment?
absolutely not.
because my flesh got in the way.
i was mad.
i was heartbroken.
i was selfish.
but i got knocked down from my high horse.
i was taught once again just how little control i have over this life i have been given.
but that's ok.
because He has all the control and He is more than capable.
on tuesday the 18th i was asked to lead a song at the funeral.
it is well.
and another lesson was learned.
as i stood on the stage.
semi-ready to sing the words.
it was not well.
losing my grandmother was not well.
my dad losing his biggest cheerleader was not well.
not being able to say goodbye was not well.
but as i sang the song.
a peace overcame me.
because it is well.
my grandmother knew Jesus well.
she proclaimed Him loudly.
and she went Home to Him.
oh that is very well.
that hymn has become the cry of my heart and the prayer for my semester.
even in the darkest of moments.
it is well.
even in the saddest times.
it is well.
in anger.
it is well.
in confusion.
it is well.
in bitterness.
it is well.
it is well
it is well
with my soul.
and so things changed,
and i arrived here on thursday.
and the Lord has blasted me with grace and an outpour of love.
He gave me rest and solitude.
i have made new friends.
i have caught up with old friends.
i have put my home together.
which leads me to the next thing on my heart.
if you have followed my blog
or know me at all
you know that i have spent the last 2 years trying to figure out this little word called "home"
for real.
it's tough.
but im learning.
and now i am making my own home.
in a house.
off campus.
and it is the happiest thing in the world.
seriously it makes me happy even thinking about it.
i am living with two girls who are wonderful and who have been constant throughout my college career.
we have created a home that promotes fellowship and getting to know people.
and it is the best.
so here's my little plug.
if you go to sbu.
come by.
anytime.
any day.
we would love to have you.
i have 39 mugs.
around 30 mason jars.
tea.
coffee.
(currently 1.5 cupcakes)
and so much love.
we would love to have you in our home.
we would love to get to know you.
we would love to get to love on you.
i believe the Lord gives to us so we can give to others.
so come on over.
the Lord is bringing healing.
He is bringing clarity.
He is bringing peace.
He has brought joy.
and so for now.
i give thanks.
and i pray that in my next trial
i give thanks.
because in the end.
His plan is
and i have an abundance to be thankful for.
and for real i could say so much more about just even the last 3 days but this post already has been all over the place.
so.
quick rundown:
new friends.
fresh flowers.
handwritten letters.
the greatest birthday of my entire life.
OH MY GOODNESS SERIOUSLY ^^^.
talks about Jesus.
talks with Jesus
so many board games.
81 books in my room.
excitement for the upcoming semester.
pumped for the well.
thankfulness for my intern family.
time spent with my becker babes.
laurel and dave.
coffee.
cookies.
surprises.
so much good y'all.
i will try to put those words together sometime soon.
but for now.
im going to sleep.
i think.
maybe.
we will see.
