this journey into college.
into a new chapter.
into many new lessons.
in two weeks i will wrap up year one.
nothing and nobody could have prepared me for this year.
no book that has been written about transition.
no movie that has been produced about the college years.
no story published in any magazine or newspaper.
these nine months have been full of joy.
hardship.
memories.
loneliness.
laughter.
sadness.
confusion.
lessons.
so so many lessons.
i have learned much about myself.
i have learned much about friendship.
i have learned much about my relationship with Christ.
and i wouldn't change a thing.
second semester has been a roller coaster.
i came in to this semester with two things on my mind:
1.expect this to be different than first semester.
a lot of people informed/warned me that no
two semesters will ever be the same and to
expect many things to change.
2.transferring to somewhere in Kansas City is an option and should
definitely happen.
i came back to school after six weeks of home. those six
weeks were full of me falling back in love with my city,
countless coffee shop afternoons, and meeting some
absolutely incredible people. leaving that was almost harder
than leaving home at the beginning of first semester. so
yes, i had full belief that i was not going to be hanging
around SBU for much longer.
ha. it's so funny when i try to plan my own life.
so let's start with #1:
this semester has been
if first semester was summer, second semester would be winter.
if first semester was black, second semester would be white.
if first semester was sweet, second semester would be sour.
absolute opposites in almost every way.
now, hear me out.
things have been different, yes without a doubt.
but that is a wonderful thing.
i have been met with challenges.
challenge after challenge, really.
but i am thankful.
with each change comes a new lesson.
with each change comes new perspective.
with each change comes growth.
has this semester been different than first?
obviously, yes.
has this semester had new hurdles to overcome?
absolutely.
has this semester been draining at times?
no doubt.
but i remain thankful.
because you see, it's when the change stops when growth stops.
it's when i become comfortable that i realize i'm not doing something right.
it's when i am not being faced with challenges that i realize i am drawing away from God.
and that is a much more frightening place to be.
i have much more growth to endure.
i don't want to be comfortable.
i want to be in God's presence always.
so i rejoice in my trials.
i rejoice in what He is bringing me through.
i rejoice in what He is bring me to.
i rejoice in how He is shaping me.
now let's move on to #2:
my love for kansas city is apparent and obvious and obnoxious and real and strong and i'm not even sorry for it.
i love my city.
this love and passion really clouded my vision in seeing what bolivar, missouri held for me during this part of my life.
i was so caught up in what i was missing out on at home that i couldn't see what i would be missing out on here if i went back to KC for school.
i met so many beautiful people while i was home in December and January and i wanted to continue to nurture those relationships.
i wanted to be invested there and with those people.
i wanted to be doing Kansas City things with Kansas City people.
it wasn't until very recently that i realized i will--and do--have those chances still...even while being an SBU bearcat.
it is possible to nurture relationships in more than one city.
but for now, i am being called to reside in bolivar.
and that is okay.
i still go home many weekends.
some people still question my motives and don't understand.
and, quite frankly, i have stopped listening to everyone else's opinions on the matter.
kansas city is dear to my heart and as long as i have the opportunity to be there during the weekends, that is where i will be.
so the transferring question.
next fall i will come back to SBU.
it will be a new semester.
it will be another crazy journey.
it will be full of more trials.
and i will live in the moment.
right now i know that this is where i am meant to be.
right now i know that this is where God wants me to grow.
so here i will be and here i will grow.
until He calls me somewhere else.
now here is all that i would have missed out on in the last 9 months if i hadn't been here:
dorm life. holla.
welcome week and the paint slip-n-slide where i finally felt peace in not being home.
living with more girls than i have ever even thought about living with. and the night we took over campus.
beasley & plaster-meyer redneck barbecue and meeting some very fantastic brothers and sisters.
foxy friday. all the fridays.
my fox obsession in general.
figuring out why college kids slept so much on the weekends. and finding a true appreciation for naps.
and an even truer appreciation for coffee. all the coffee.
taking walks through the cemetery. it's weird, i know. but i am who i am. and my dad used to come here to study during his college years, so i have to carry on the tradition.
spades night. and beka todd. and the couch we were sitting on.
the retreat that changed my life and wrecked me in the most beautiful way. and my new respect and admiration for branson.
trips to springfield to sit alone in coffee shops.
and trips to my grandma's house to spend the weekend.
yes, especially the second one.
snow walks alone.
hurts donut company.
all the donuts.
the smell of donuts.
the thought of donuts.
donuts.
and increased admiration for the beauty of city life.
tuesdays at the river with alexa and donuts.
did i mention donuts?...
this girl. one of my truest and greatest friends. and all of her patience and love and loudness. yes. all of that.
and last, but probably most important, i would have never met these people. i would not have these memories. these pictures would not exist. so that. that is one of the biggest things i would have missed out on.
but i didn't.
i stayed here.
i am here.
i am growing.
and i, once again, am thankful.
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