we live in a culture of people who are engulfed in themselves.
what their hair looks like.
what people think of their clothes.
how attractive others find them.
i'll be honest, i fall into this category more times than i would like to.
i worry about myself and what others think of me more than i ever should.
and, as i have come to learn,
it is a twisted perspective.
i have recently come out of a place of self-obsession.
obsessing over what others think of me.
obsessing over how people view me.
obsessing over wanting to be liked.
it's natural.
but it isn't okay.
so i am crawling out of the self-obsessed pit.
i am putting my worth
my acceptance
my desirability
in Christ.
i have come to the the realization that when i focus on Easton and on where Easton is in life and Easton's struggles,
my eyes turn from the Lord.
I become focused on how I need to improve myself,
rather than how the Lord is trying to improve me.
and let's be honest,
my improvements probably won't turn out as well as His improvements.
His improvements will build me with confidence in Him.
His improvements will fill me with joy.
His improvements will set my feet on the right path.
My improvements will keep me walking in a circle.
I think that every so often God seems to do a bit of a "spring cleaning" in me.
He tosses away the garbage I have been stuffing in the corner.
He wipes away the smears of shame and sadness.
He reorganizes the priorities I have out of order.
it is painful, yes
but it is needed.
and in the end,
it is beautiful.
ephesians 2:10 says that "you are God's masterpiece"
how many of us wake up every day and say "dang shawty, I am a masterpiece!"?
how many of us know that He has made us wonderfully and fearfully?
now, how many of us know that sometimes a masterpiece can take some time?
it took Leonardo da Vinci four years to paint the Mona Lisa.
it took eleven years for the Statue of Liberty to be constructed and assembled.
it took Edvard Munch 17 years to complete all four versions of The Scream.
but think of a human as a masterpiece.
think about how humans are always learning,
always growing,
always evolving.
how do you think da Vinci would have reacted if Mona Lisa had changed on her own. she had added more color to her cheeks.
she had made herself look a bit more feminine. she had smoothed out the errors she thought da Vinci had made.
this is what we do.
we try to grab the paint brush out of God's hand and add to ourselves the things we think we need.
the body we think we need to get attention from the opposite sex.
the personality that we convince ourselves is better than who we truly are naturally.
the activities we participate in to fit in with the group we think we should fit in with.
all the while, He watches us knowing that these "improvements" we are giving to ourselves, are the very things that will destroy us.
how painful do you think that is?
to spend so much time on a creation that He loves so much. That He made in His image. That He sent His son to die for. Just to hear them say "no, no, no God. I've got this. You don't understand what I need. You don't hear what I have been asking You for. I need to be perfect. I need to be wanted. I need to be better than this."
ouch.
why do we do this?
why do we not HAPPILY go along the path He has set before us?
why do we not embrace the person He has called and created us to be?
He DOES understand what we need.
more than we do.
He does hear what we ask Him for.
that doesn't mean that what we ask Him for is really needed.
He is working on us every second of every minute of every day.
He is perfecting us.
He is shaping us.
He is stripping us.
He is putting us back together.
Yes, it takes time.
Yes, it hurts like heck.
Yes, it is difficult.
but it is so so worth it.
it is worth knowing that you are in the middle of God's will for your life.
it is worth knowing that you only need to find your identity in Christ.
it is worth knowing that you don't have to worry about changing on your own.
so as I pull myself out of this pit once again.
as I refocus on who HE has called me to be.
as I turn my plans and desires for myself over to Him,
I rejoice.
I rejoice in who He is making me.
I rejoice that He has patience for my stupidity and ignorance.
I rejoice that I am loved by such a King as this.
//Rejoice in the Lord always.
I will say it again:
Rejoice!//
Philippians 4:4
//May the God of hope fill you
with all
joy and peace as you
trust in him, so that you
may overflow with hope
by the power of the Holy Spirit//
Romans 15:13
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