it is finished.

welp.

it is over. first semester is finished.

and it was grand.

and it was hard.

and it was ridiculous.

and it was fun.

and it was lovely.

and it was painful.

and it was everything I needed it to be.

I serve a God who has promised me from the time I was thought into creation that He had a plan and a purpose for my life.

and yet, I have questioned it.
         I have doubted it.
         I have tested it.

All during these past few months.

and yet, He has answered me.
         He has remained.
         He has shown Himself to be true.

All during these past few months.

You see, there were times over this past semester that I tried doing life on my own. And because of that,I have been stretched and beaten and thrown down and lifted up and thrown down again. I have stumbled and I have screwed up. I have made mistake after mistake after mistake. 

But.

I have also learned how to fully and one hundred percent lay my life down before the Father.

You see, when I attempted life on my own, I failed. But through that failure I found the grace, mercy, joy, peace, and love of Christ.

I found that what He says in His word is true.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

    do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek His will in all you do,

    and He will show you which path to take.

Proverbs 3:5&6

He WILL show me which path to take. 

He WILL lead me every step of the way. 

He WILL always be by my side.

So although I did not always remember that...

   although I screwed up weekly/daily/hourly...

   although I tried to do my own thing every so often...

He remained.

Not because I deserved it.

Not because I am worth it.

But because He promised me He would.

He, time and again, showered me with His grace.

He poured His mercy and love on me.

He showed me His love and His desire for me.

I've said it before, and I will say it again:

This semester has been one big giant roller coaster ride. 

and it has been worth every minute of the ride.

I have seen God's glory shine through in situations that seemed so dark and hopeless.

I have felt His love when I was at my lowest moments.

I have experienced Him in a whole new marvelous way.

These last two weeks of the semester have seemed to be the hardest two weeks I have had to deal with in a couple months.

Change is hard.

And that has been made clear in ways I had not experienced until just recently.

But through all that God has led me through since August 15th I am trying to work on handling this change in a different way.

I am listening.

1O0 percent committed to wait on the Lord through this.

                      to listen to His desires for my life and 

                      not my own.

                      to know that it isn't easy, but it will 

                      all work out.

SO over these next six weeks, I will continue to trust and listen and act on His will. 

Please be praying for me as I learn how to surrender all.

All to Jesus.