own it.

hello.

i am here again attempting to put in to words the thoughts i have been wrestling with since about three weeks months ago.

so. let us begin.

hello.

let's talk about my generation.

now...
before you run off or exit out or throw your phone...

hear me out.

i love my generation.

i think we rock.

but we have so much to work on.

can i get a hallelujah amen from the chorus?

i have been grappling lately with this idea of constant justification.

what do i mean by that exactly?

i live in a culture where people love to justify their actions-myself included.

we love to have a solid defense when we are met with confrontation.
to be confronted without something in front of us to act as a shield is to have to live with the reality that we are not living blameless lives. 

so what exactly does that look like in the life of a Christian?

well let me tell you.

when we find ourselves walking in a season of sin or rebellion

but we continue to say that we are listening to the Lord

we tend to grab two things: a sharpie and a highlighter.

with those two weapons of choice

we love to go through the bible

highlighting the things we do well,

the things we agree with,

the things that fit our lifestyle

and drawing a thick black line

through anything that may challenge our choices.

that, my friends, allows us to ease ourselves into easily justifying our actions.

how great does it feel to have a reason for everything we do?

a "but" 
a "because" 
a "well i" 
after every challenge through accountability.

now this is not easton standing at the pulpit looking down upon everyone else.

this is easton looking straight in the mirror preaching to herself.

this semester has been a lot like me going around in a constant circle. 

i believe i have used that analogy in a previous blog post (or maybe just 4532 times in my head), but it seems that me going in circles is a common theme in my college career.

i start out strong.
mhm good job east.
then i start to fall off the train a bit.
it will get better.
then i jump off the train.
well, you tried.
then i get back up.
atta girl.
then i start again.

and all during that cycle, you hear me justify my actions.

i had a conversation with my roommate last night after i got back from one of my routine night drives. 
and some sort of epiphany (but really it's the truth i have heard time and time again)hit me.

here's the deal.
here's what i--and so many in my generation--so quickly forget:

expecting God to reveal to and give to you the things He has for you, when you continue over and over again to prove that He is not your sole source of reliance is ludicrous. 

it is when you get flat on your face before Him 
every. single. day.
no matter what issues you have or things you're facing
that He will begin to do work in your life.

it is called humility, y'all.
it is called trust, y'all.
it is called relying solely on the One Being that can do ANYTHING instead of running here and there and everywhere before we go to Him as our last resort.

and in that place of humility, the whole justification issue that we face cannot exist.
because in humility, we see ourselves exactly as we are.

in humility we come before 
ourselves
our peers
our King
and we admit that we are not living up to the standard of the gospel.

so my challenge today is this.
be real.
own up to the areas of your life where you are struggling.
be open to the idea of humility.

we are called to live in transparency.
we are called to live in community.
so let's just put the two together and live transparently in our community.

it is okay to struggle.
it is okay to mess up.

and it is okay to accept the grace we are given when we struggle and mess up.

don't choose justification.
choose mercy and choose grace.

our lives will be so much more fruitful when we live our lives in the knowledge that we are covered by the blood and pure in the sight of our Creator. 

because of that fact, we can live above justification. 
because of that fact, we get to accept grace instead of excuses.

live in that. accept that. walk in that.